#1 - Saxton Hale learned Jarate by kicking a chair across the room.

#2 - Saxton Hale can kill Ubercharges with his bare hands.

#3 - Saxton Hale can outsmart bullet.

#4 - Saxton Hale gives out twice as much ammo and health as a regular dispenser just by flexing, and can teleport teammates with his bare hands.

#5 - Saxton Hale uses a remote to instantly make control points his favorite color.

#6 - Saxton Hale is the number one protector of The Endangered Spycrab. He finds them Cute.

#7 - Saxton Hale gave birth to his son, Chuck Norris, after engaging in intercourse with a nearby Saltwater Crocodile while drinking his own Jarate and flexing his muscles.

#8 - The Engineer told Saxton Hale he could touch that darn thing.

#9 - Saxton Hale once threw The Train into The Saw. With his teeth.

#10 - Saxton Hale does not randomly find hats. Every day he beats the crap out of Robin Walker until he gives him one. Then he makes Robin eat it.

#11 - Saxton Hale reflects projectiles. With his chest hair.

#12 - Scout took Sasha out to a steak dinner. Saxton Hale took Sasha out to a Scout dinner. It was delicious.

#13 - Saxton Hale can backstab while cloaked.

#14 - Saxton Hale can win a match as a Spectator.

#15 - Saxton Hale used the idler and got 3 halos.

#16 - During play, when Saxton Hale uses his Jarate, the player starts taking full Crits in REAL LIFE.

#17 - "Sudden Death" was called "Saxton Hale" in TF2 alpha.

#18 - Heavies eat Sanviches. Saxton Hale eats Heavies.

#19 - Saxton Hale convinced VALVe to give all the idler's hats back. To him.

#20 - Saxton Hale can Uber Himself.

#21 - Saxton Hale once got lit on fire by a pyro. It died a few moments later from after burn.

#22 - Saxton Hale's manly back functions as a Razorback in itself. Attempting to stab Saxton Hale's Razor Back will not only result in electrocution, but also spontaneous combustion, a sudden and severe case of dyssentry, and the feeling that every single "Fred" video is being played directly into your ears at maximum volume.

#23 - Saxton Hale doesn't need a rocket launcher to rocket jump; when he needs to, explosions materialize under him.

#24 - Saxton Hale is the actual creator of TF2. He named the two team RED and BLU after the colors he beats his victims into.

#25 - Saxton Hale's record for "Most Headshots." is 467. As Engineer.